Saturday, December 10, 2011

Some thoughts on the "slippery slope"

I've been hearing a lot lately, particularly from a certain segment of conservatives, of some rhetoric that goes something like this: "If we allow gays to marry, before long people will be marrying their cars!" *cue dramatic chipmunk*

Yes, the good old slippery slope argument. It never fails to get folks riled up. Especially folks that support gay marriage. They say such an argument is nonsense. Which would be the case if it weren't for the middle step.

See, before they get to the bit about bestiality/pedophilia/objectophilia/etc., they usually invoke the dreaded polyamory! *cue chipmunk again* Gay marriage leads to polyamory leads to literally anything goes. That middle step makes their argument half right. After all, if gender isn't a restriction on marriage, why should number be?

Of course, the key thing here is informed consent. Steps one and two involve contracts between consenting adults; step three does not. Children, animals, and objects can't give legal consent, thus they can't get married. So, there's no need to worry. Allowing people of the same gender, or three or more people, to marry won't result in people suddenly marrying goats and dishwashers, and the like.

Mind you, what I just did there requires logic, and most folks can't seem to get past their different = evil mentality long enough to use it. *sigh*


Friday, October 21, 2011

On the virtues of tea

Sometimes at the end of a long week, the best thing to do is to sit back with a cup of hot tea and relax. But venting on a blog also helps :P

To start off with, it's been really difficult to get Michael to help out around the house. He goes on about how he shouldn't be doing "woman's work." All those Judeo-Christian gender roles he grew up with, ya know? He can believe whatever he wants, but if he helps make the mess, in this house he needs to help clean it up.

And of course we're still dealing with biology issues. Of all the teens I have to work with, Cambri seems to be the only one who's actually interested. Wynn and Anne want to skip the basics, Alyn thinks she knows it all already, and Michael is convinced that biology (and science in general) is evil because of evolution. So, they've been banned from computers and the library until they actually start working on biology. It's times like this that I hate teens. But I guess this is my payback....

Oh, and to top it all off, I'm seven months pregnant. Not like it's a huge deal, since it is my third time. But the raging hormones make it difficult to resist killing certain teenage girls who do stupid shit.


Friday, October 14, 2011


I wonder if anyone in this house ever does it. Seems like everybody stays up all night. And I really don't get why. Everybody just gets together in the library, or the living room, and just talks for hours. It's all way over my head, so I have no clue what they're actually talking about. I know lots of questions are getting asked and answered, but it's like they're speaking a whole other language. I just want to go to bed, but everyone over 10 is expected to stay up and at least listen. Often even some of the little kids stay up.

Anne and Wynn say that I'll get used to it... Maybe so, but I'd still rather be in bed...


Sunday, October 9, 2011

Alone in a den of sinners

Hello, my name is Michael. I just recently moved in here with my cousin, Aria. Several of the adults here have said that I am welcome to post on the family blog, so I thought I'd take a chance to vent my frustrations.

To start off with, not a single person in this house is Christian. The Irish woman (I think her name is Irene) says she's Catholic, but my parents have always told me that Catholics aren't real Christians because they worship Mary. The Irish woman has confirmed my suspicions about Catholics. At least once I have heard her say something to the effect of, "I'm Irish Catholic, so I might as well be pagan anyway." And apparently she's a lesbian. It sickens me to think that such depraved woman would dare to call herself a Christian.

And despite what some people here believe, I did know a little about sex before I came here. My parents spared me the details, but emphasized that it should only occur between one man and one woman within the bonds of marriage. That seems to be completely ignored in this house. I can't tell who's sleeping with who. But apparently a lot of it is going on. I never thought sound would travel so well through stone walls....

And the nudity! My second day here I came down to breakfast to find a naked woman in the kitchen. I had never seen a naked woman before. I averted my eyes as quickly as possible, only to find another naked woman in my line of sight. I wanted to tell them how sinful they were being, and that they should practice modesty, but my parents taught my to respect my elders, so I held my tongue. Kevin (a blond Welsh man) suggested that I just get used to it, as I would likely end up seeing everyone in this house naked at some point. How can these people live like this? Have they no sense of morality?

I sincerely hope I do not have to stay here long, lest I become a sinner myself.



OMFG!!! Rain!!! It's the most awesome thing ever. Maybe we can get out of this drought.

In other news, this new kid, Michael, is so fucking weird. He almost never talks. He just sits there with a look of horror on his face.... I think Kevin finally explained sex to the poor kid. Seriously, what kind of parents let their kid get to be 15 without giving him "the talk"? It's fucking ridiculous...

Anyway, I'm going back to reading Roman erotic poetry, like a normal teenager.


Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Because we are awesome and we can

I'm so excited to have Alyn living with us again! We can cause so much trouble now that her devious mind has joined our consortium of mischief.

Indeed! My penchant for chaos and destruction rivals that of the legendary Aria and Nona in their teenage years. In days to come we shall lure my dear cousin to the dark side. Victory is upon us, sisters!

Y'all are ridiculous... that's almost as bad as "Come sisters! Let us leave this place in a manner most Wiccan!"

"Text your mom to come pick us up."!!!!

Hey, we're not that bad. Anyway, since when did you become all serious, and such?

Anne's just pissed because she's in "old cat lady" mode. She's convinced that she'll remain single and unsatisfied forever.


What's that about, Cambri?

Oh, nothing... I'm sure you'll figure it out in time :P

Right... whatever.... So, are you in on our devious plans to corrupt Michael?

The cute new guy? YES! OMG! This will be so much fun! :D

He's gonna be tough to crack. That kid IS the buckle of the Bible belt. Pretty much every stereotype of fundie Christians I've ever heard exists in him. Hell, I'm pretty sure he doesn't know about sex, or that boys and girls have different body parts....

O.O Seriously?!?! We must rectify this! Get that boy some porn!

Y'all do realize that you're sitting right next to each other at the same computer, typing your conversation into a blog post instead of actually speaking, right?

~~Alyn, Cambri, Wynn

Y'all are fucking insane....

Says the keyboard hijacker...

Well, fuck you, Wynn :P

*Giggles, then runs off to the other room to laugh hysterically*

What was that about?


Yeah... umm... well... Splunge.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

I couldn't resist

What will happen when a fundamentalist Christian joins a house full of polyamorous polytheists?! Find out next time on The Dayspring Chronicles!


New Girl in the House

Well, sort of. My name is Aria, and I have just moved (back) into the Big House with my husband Lance, my five year old daughter, my 15 year old sister Alyn, and my 15 year old cousin Michael. Nona and I have been good friends since we were kids. She's like a sister to me.

What's most unusual about this situation is Michael. His parents are very conservative fundamentalist Christians, and he has had a very sheltered life. His parents felt that they were called to go on a mission trip to a war zone, but they did not feel that it was safe enough to bring their son, so the left him in my care. I warned them that I was moving into a large house with some friends, and they were already aware of our religious differences, but they still felt that I was the most responsible of their relatives and best suited to take care of Michael. Whatever... I guess this means The Girls finally have someone new to corrupt.


Overcoming Jealousy: Drak

I have never been under the assumption that I own my wife. I know full well that it's the other way around.

I first met Myst when she took me prisoner during one of the many raids I and my Saxon brethren made in Britain. Those wars are long since past, but after that we got married, so I suppose I'm still a prisoner of war (at least according to some). She was already involved with Alan at that time, however the point at which they became "married" is still up for debate.

Given our unusual circumstances, I can't say I've experienced jealousy in the traditional sense. I have more often envied Alan's skills with a sword, than with... well... a "sword." Each of us has our own talents. Instead of dwelling on what other's have that I do not, I prefer to focus on what I do have. As the saying goes, "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."


Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Coming and going

So, Cambria and Brendan will be gone for a few months, and so they will not be posting. I realize neither of them have posted anything yet anyway, but I didn't want any of you holding your breath for it (trust me, dying's not much fun).

But, we do have some new people moving in with us. Aria, her husband Lance, their daughter, and their cousin, Michael. This is going to be fun! Michael's parents are really conservative Christians, so we'll likely terrify him. I love corrupting good little Christian children!


Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Overcoming Jealousy: Kevin

I find it rather ironic that Irene's post about communication was so short. But back on topic....

I find it's very important to be secure in yourself. Often jealousy issues can stem from a fear of not being good enough and being abandoned. The common thought process goes something like this: "If we see other people, he might find someone better than me and leave me." This line of thinking is caused by a lack of confidence. If you're confident, many of those fears about being left for someone "better" go away because you know that you have value and cannot simply be replaced. And, if you recognize that each person is unique and valuable, you can better understand how your partner's other partner(s) enrich their lives.


Overcoming Jealousy: Irene

Communicate, communicate, communicate.

And then communicate some more.


Saturday, July 30, 2011

Overcoming Jealousy: Nona

Hmm... I feel like I don't have much to say. Most of the good advice has already been taken.

I will say this. Don't be afraid to acknowledge your feelings. If you're feeling jealous, recognize that. You certainly can't do anything to fix it if you don't accept that it's happening. And don't be afraid to express your feelings. Expressing how you feel is the surest way to get something positive done about it.


Overcoming Jealousy: Terri

Whenever I introduce myself as Alan's third wife, people give me funny looks. Usually their first assumption is that Alan has been divorced twice, and they wonder why I would announce such a thing. If they're still listening after I've explained to them that he's still married to his first two wives, and that we're not Mormon, they usually ask if I get jealous because I'm the third wife.

I'm Alan's third wife only in chronological order. None of us are better or more important than the others. Yet people see to have this idea that we have ranks. They often ask things like, "Don't you worry that he loves one of you more than the others?" The answer: No.

Many people see love like water in the desert. You only have so much, and the more people you give it to, the less each person gets (or one gets a lot and the others get little). Try telling that to a parent. I doubt you could find a single parent in the world who would say that when they have another child that they love each child a little less.

Love is not limited. However, time and energy are, and I think that's where people get confused. They equate time and energy with love. Granted, if you love someone, you will make time for them. But that doesn't mean that doesn't mean that Alan loves me any less because he chooses to spends some of his time with other people.

It helps to understand that you are not the only person in your partner's life. Friends, family, kids, work. We all have things that divide up our time. Even in a monogamous relationship, you can't give 100% of your time to one person. So, it's important to think about how much attention you actually need, and to communicate with your partner(s) about that. If I feel like I'm not getting to spend enough time with Alan, all I have to do is talk to him about it and we can work out a solution.

Jealousy, in the sense of wanting something someone else has, happens. But recognizing that we're human, that limits on time and energy are not the same as limits on love, and with good communication, you can work past it.


Overcoming Jealousy: Tiffany

Yay! It's my first post!

Well, being one of the few monogamous people in this house, I have a slightly different take on jealousy. I like to distinguish between a desire for romantic exclusivity and possessiveness. Both are often referred to as jealousy, but they are not the same thing.

There are somethings that only my girlfriend, Irene, and I share with each other. We enjoy having aspects of our lives that are kept special and private. But that does not mean that we own each other. Irene is an adult and she can make her own decisions. If I start trying to control her in order to preserve that "specialness," I am not treating her with respect, and that does more to hurt our dynamic than her spending time with other people.

Of course there are times when I feel like I don't get to spend enough time with her. But a simple conversation can quickly fix that. Treating your partner with respect and good communication can go a long way to solve jealousy problems.


Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Words have meanings

About a month ago, the New York Times did an article on sex columnist Dan Savage's views on sexual exclusivity. It's a really long article, so to summarize:

Dan Savage believes that things like honesty, trust, and stability are more important in a relationship than monogamy. He claims that as a society we have become so obsessed with the idea of sexual exclusivity that we have lost sight of the reality of our sexual desires. He says that romantic partners need to be completely honest with each other about what they need and want from the relationship. Following from this, he says that monogamy works well for some people, but that if you want to be everything for your partner sexually, then you need to be willing to be everything. If you feel that you cannot reasonably meet all your partner's desires, he suggests that you consider some form of non-monogamy, in order to preserve the health of the primary relationship. However, I wouldn't call him pro-polyamory, as he seriously doubts that long-term multiple partner relationships can work.

While I disagree with his stance on polyamory, I find I agree with his overall point. Healthy relationships require partners to communicate honestly about what they need and want (and everything else as well). In our society it seems that the primary determining factor of the success of a relationship is sexual exclusivity. That seems rather ridiculous to me. So, it's refreshing to see someone focusing on what it actually takes to have healthy relationships.

And now the bad....

While I thought that on the whole the article was rather positive, I take serious issue with the use of the term “infidelity.” (In)fidelity comes from the Latin word “fides,” meaning trust. Thus, infidelity is characterized by a breach of trust. If all parties involved fully consent to non-monogamy, then there is no breach of trust, and by definition, no infidelity. By equating sexual exclusivity with fidelity, one implies that people who are not monogamous are not trustworthy.

This is a big problem. Words have meanings. But more than that, words have implications. While infidelity (in a relationship context) means not being sexually exclusive, it carries a lot of baggage beyond that meaning. There are many characteristics associated with sexual infidelity that are not explicitly in the definition. Untrustworthiness, immaturity, addiction to sex, lack of commitment, perversion, etc. By equating all forms of non-monogamy with infidelity, one implies that non-monogamous people have these characteristics.

Words have incredible power to shape reality. If all forms of non-monogamy are labeled as infidelity, all that baggage gets dumped on non-monogamous people. And that baggage affects how the rest of society sees these people. For example, if you meet an young woman who says she's a cheerleader, you will likely make some assumptions about her based on the characteristics associated with that label (vanity, lack of intelligence, etc.). She may be a genius, but you will likely judge her based on that stereotype.

Such judgement can become very harmful. If a person believes the stereotypes associated with infidelity, and infidelity is equated with all non-monogamy, then they may likely come to a conclusion such as that non-monogamous people are unfit to be parents. Would you want CPS coming to take your children away because of an assumption about your character based on the label others use for your relationship?

This is why the meanings of words are important. Calling all non-monogamy infidelity is not only intellectually dishonest, it can be harmful to healthy, loving families.


Friday, July 15, 2011

Overcoming Jealousy: Anne

Well, being single, I don't have much to say about jealousy in relationships. But I can certainly talk about being jealous OF relationships.

As mentioned in my last post, I'm one of two single people in the house (not counting the small children). It sucks. Everybody's got somebody, but I have to sleep alone. No cuddles for me. It's easy to see how someone in my situation would be jealous of those in relationships. The fact is, I do get jealous.

I don't really know what to do about it. There really isn't anyone I know right now who I'd want to be in a relationship with. I'm homeschooled, so that kind of reduces the dating pool.

Come to think of it, I'm not even sure why I want to be in a relationship. I guess that's my advice. If you're jealous, ask yourself why you want the thing that someone else has.


Thursday, June 9, 2011

Overcoming Jealousy: Wynn

I've never really thought about jealousy. That's not to say that I don't experience it, but I've never actually examined it before. I should probably do that.

Well, since I haven't thought about it, I guess I don't have much else to contribute. I'll leave you with a quote to ponder.

"O! beware, my lord, of jealousy;
It is the green-ey'd monster which doth mock
The meat it feeds on." ~~Iago, Othello Act III Scene iii, William Shakespeare


Sunday, June 5, 2011

Overcoming Jealousy: Cambri

I feel like I don't really have anything to contribute. I'm only 14, and I've never been in a relationship. But I see jealousy in other kids my age. Jealous of the cheerleader sort of thing. Whenever I see anyone with that kind of jealousy, it almost always seems to stem from feelings of inadequacy. "I want to be like her, because I'm not good enough." People are unhappy with how they are (or, more accurately, how they are in comparison to how they think people want them to be in order to be accepted), and when they see someone who is what they want to be, they resent that person for having what they want. It's so silly. If you're happy with yourself, you won't be jealous. If you're unhappy with yourself, then instead of wasting your time and energy resenting someone else for it, learn to like yourself how you are or change it. Don't like those extra squishy spots on your body? Go exercise! Don't like being lazy? Do something! You have the power to make your life how you want it, so there's no reason to be pining after someone else's life.

Jealousy is a waste of time. Get up off your ass and make your own happiness!


Saturday, June 4, 2011

New Series: Overcoming Jealousy

Ok, we're about to do something very weird. Though this is just a family blog about random daily events, we're going to do a series on overcoming jealousy. The more perceptive among you will have noticed by now that most people in this house aren't monogamous. When people find out about this, usually the first thing they ask is, "Are you Mormon?" The second thing they usually ask is, "Don't you get jealous?" Well, we're going to answer that question. I'll be expecting everyone to write about it (yes even those of you who are single or monogamous). The first part will be coming soon!


P.S. Just to clarify, we're not Mormon.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011


Cambri just posted about how someone's getting laid every day in this house. Well, it ain't me. Despite what everyone seems to think, I'm still a virgin. That's right, I did not have sex with Gilbert! Good thing, too. He was a misogynistic asshole. Much like his father was, or so I've heard.

But still, I'm sick of being single. I'm the only one (other than Cambri and the little kids) who is. But finding someone is the hard part. Whenever someone finds out about my family, they think either that I'm Mormon or that I'm a sinful pervert. I am DEFINITELY NOT Mormon. I suppose sinful pervert is subject to interpretation. If believing that consenting adults can do whatever they want (so long as it doesn't infringe upon the rights of others) makes one a sinful pervert, then I guess I am one.


Feeling rather evil

I am not your average 14 year old girl. I'm training to become a midwife. As such, I know more about sex than most people who have it. I can tell you all the gory details about baby making, from foreplay to labor and beyond. Because of this, I don't fit in too well with most girls my age. I don't giggle at words like "vagina" and "penis." Sex is just a normal part of everyday life. Especially in this house....

I can't recall a single day since I moved in here that someone wasn't getting laid. But I guess that's what happens when you get together a bunch of people with really high sex drives. Of course, most people don't think that's too weird. It's when they find out about the "sleeping arrangements" that they get confused.

So, we have 11 people who are currently in relationships. Four men, seven women. All the men are straight. Two of the women are lesbians. You do the math.

I moved here five years ago. I was nine years old, had never known my parents, and knew more about sex than a lot of adults. I was a perfect fit for this family. Of course.... the adoption agency didn't think so!


Sunday, May 22, 2011


Well, it's about time I introduced myself. My name is Kevin. As the title of this post indicates, I'm Welsh. Which usually leads to me being the butt of jokes.... But we have a good laugh.

I am a musician. Put any instrument in my hand and I can play it. I also sing and dance. I'll do anything that involves creative expression. Beyond that, there really isn't much more to say. Nearly everything else I do is an extension of my creativity.


Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Just in case you were confused

So, since Alan and Myst were the only ones to introduce themselves, I'm taking it upon myself to introduce everyone else. For now I'm just going to give you name, gender, and age. I'm sure the rest will become clear in time.

  • Alan, m., 2000(ish)
  • Myst, f., 1800(ish)
  • Brendan, m., 1600(ish)
  • Kevin (me!), m., 1400(ish)
  • Cambria, f., 2000(ish)
  • Drak, m., 1500(ish)
  • Nona, f., 27
  • Wynn, f., 16
  • Anne, f., 17
  • Terri, f., 20
  • Tiffany, f., 20
  • Irene, f., 34
  • Cambri, f., 14
Hope that clears things up a bit. Or at the very least made things ten time more confusing :P


Saturday, April 9, 2011

Wow... it's been a week

As you may have noticed, it's been a week since the last post. There's a good reason for that. We've been planting!

A bunch of our summer crops went in this week, like tomatoes, squash, and okra. Well, that's all for now. Gotta go do the homework I put off all week.


Saturday, April 2, 2011

Feeding Fifteen

We have 15 people in our house. So when you get up on a Saturday morning to cook breakfast, you've got your work cut out for you. Breakfast here usually consists of eggs, bacon (or sausage, or ham, depending on what we have at the time), toast, biscuits and gravy, "crumpets" (basically grilled cheese made with English muffins), and three pots of tea. Sometimes we'll have fried squash as well.

The girls wanted strawberries this morning. I explained to them that they weren't in season and they just looked confused. This is what they get for not paying attention in biology. Though, they're still getting used to us growing our own food. If you go to pretty much any grocery store you can get strawberries and just about any other kind of produce you want all throughout the year. The girls are still adjusting to the idea that certain fruits and vegetables only grow at certain times of the year. It certainly makes the claim that 30% of 8th graders don't know that milk comes from cows much more believable.

So, I told them that if they wanted fruit, they'd have to go to the garden and get it themselves. And what do they come back with? Mushrooms! Those are so not fruit. But if that's what they want to eat.... At least they're not begging me to do this stuff for them.

Well, breakfast is almost over. There's gardening to be done, and the kids have homework to work on. Just another Saturday that the Big House.


Thursday, March 31, 2011

Insomnia and Latin

Have you ever been so tired that you can't sleep? Well, if you haven't, it sucks. A lot. I tried to do my homework, but I was too tired to concentrate. I tried to go to bed, but I couldn't fall asleep. Now I'm back to the homework and I seem to be doing a bit better. The Dr Pepper certainly helps as well. However, Dr Pepper does not translate Latin. But if it did, that would be awesome.

So, I gotta wonder, how many 15 year olds read Persius? I mean, no public school would read him. Hell, most public schools don't even offer Latin. Most private schools wouldn't read him either. Roman satire isn't exactly church friendly. Like in Horace 1.2 talking about "grinding other men's wives" and raping the slave girl. Though I'd love to see a nun try to translate cunnus. Isn't it wonderful that Latin has it's own word for cunt?

Well, back to the translating...


Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Morning musings

There are certain phrases you just don't want to hear first thing in the morning. "Can we just skip our lessons today?" is one of them.

You see, if you had stayed up all night preparing lesson plans, you'd be pretty pissed off too. The girls seem to think that biology isn't worth their time and effort. They just want to do the "cool" stuff (though I don't know how many teenagers think human osteology is cool). I explain to them that they have to learn the basics first, that they can't fully understand the advanced material with out it. They never listen. It's always, "How much longer until we can learn this?"

At least the littler ones enjoy it. You have no idea how hard it is to teach a "class" when you have two 19 year olds, a 17 year old, a 16 year old, a 13 year old, a 5 year old, and a 1 year old (granted, Raven mostly just plays). I can't wait for Toni and Aria to move in so we can have some more kids Vivianne's age. And having a boy or two would be nice. Maybe we'll adopt one. Though, I doubt any adoption agency would see our family as fit to adopt.

Well, that's all for now. It's biology time.


Monday, March 28, 2011

The ridiculousness of modern scholarship

Sometimes I wonder what the point is of doing scholarly research. Because it seems to me that it's become all about trying to prove some outlandish theory in order to make a name for yourself. While it's important to consider new perspectives, scholars these days take it too far. They find the most obscure detail, and then claim that it's proof that the whole field needs to be rewritten.

I realize this is a bit of an exaggeration. There's plenty of good scholarship out there. But the academic community as a whole seems to be approaching learning all wrong. People shouldn't be seeking to learn in order to puff up their own egos. What you learn doesn't have to rewrite history to be of value. I think if more academics realized this they would find that they learn more when they aren't self-aggrandizing.

Well, that's my mini-rant for the day.


P.S. Drak, I find that it's much more effective to have her write a paper examining why she did it, why she shouldn't have done it, and how she should approach a similar situation in the future. It is fun to watch the little ones squirm :P Whether they actually learn something, or just want to avoid the discomfort, it seems to keep them in line.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Sunday mornings

I think one of the greatest things about not being Christian is that you get to sleep in on Sunday mornings. Why would anyone want to get up early to listen to a boring old man drone on and on about heaven and hell and sin and Jesus and stuff? Granted, not all churches are like that. When we lived in Ireland my mom was adamant about us pretending to be Catholic. I didn't mind that so much, because unlike Baptists, Irish Catholics are pretty cool.

Of course, there is a downside to Sundays: chores. Mom says that since we got to sleep in, we should have plenty of energy to clean. It's just so much to do! Do you have any idea how much of a mess fifteen people can make? Terri says that if I did a little bit every day of the week, it wouldn't be so bad. But she likes doing laundry. I can't understand why.

Well, I suppose I'd better go. I've got laundry and homework to do. Though I don't get why home schooled kids would get homework....


Please excuse my outspoken wife

Hello, I'm Drak. While I love my wife very much, she isn't always very tactful. I hope she hasn't discouraged you from further reading. I think you'll find life at the Big House very interesting.

On a side note, Alan, if Anne ever does something that stupid again, you have my permission to administer an ass-beating.


Do I really have to do this?

I like sex. I like sex a lot. Hell, I have two husbands, and they can barely keep up with me! Yeah, you read that right. Got a problem with it? Well, fuck you!

My father disowned me when I was 17 for participating in... certain summer activities. Ironically, that's how my parents met.

I suppose I should tell you my name. I'm Myst. I'm Scottish, and I have a temper to match my hair.

I have a 17 year old daughter with Drak, and I swear she's an exact copy of me. Was I really that much trouble? Given how much of a handful she is, I'm reluctant to have any more kids, but I wouldn't be surprised if Alan got me pregnant. He already got Terri and Nona pregnant with in days of each other.

Well, I guess I'm done for now. Unlike Alan, I can't write a novel at four in the morning.


Hello, my name is Alan

I'm never quite sure how to introduce myself. I'm brutally honest, and most people don't take too kindly to that. Well, I suppose that's a start, isn't it? Let's see... I was born in Roman Britain, during the reign of Emperor Claudius. Yes, I realize this makes me nearly 2000 years old. And, yes, I realize you think that's impossible. But that's your problem, not mine.

I live out in the Texas hill country, near Enchanted Rock, in a place we call the Big House. That all started because the girls were watching Monarch of the Glen, and they thought it would be cool to call our house the "big house" like in the show. Teenagers.... But, I suppose it makes sense to call it the Big House. It is ridiculously big. We could have 150 people live here quite comfortably. Our house sits on a very large piece of land, and is completely self-sufficient... well... almost. Our herds aren't quite large enough yet to eat them and have them be sustainable. So, we still have to go into town for meat. But otherwise, we're completely off the grid.

Hmm... that last paragraph really wasn't about me at all, was it? Well, what else do you want to know? I'm about 5'10" and have a slender-ish athletic build. I have long black hair and blue eyes. I like long, romantic walks on the beach... Nah! I'm not too fond of beaches. The sand gets in too many uncomfortable places. I do have some hopeless romantic tendencies. But I am also very practical. I am not a fan of the popular notions of love, the kind that produce such idiotic sayings as, "You complete me," "I can't live without you," and "Love means never having to say you're sorry." People have this ridiculous idea that one day they will meet that one special person who will meet all their needs and desires for the rest of their life, will fix all their personal problems simply by being in a relationship together, and will be the primary source of happiness and fulfillment in their life. What a load of bullshit! Having such impossible assumptions about relationships is the main reason why so many of them fail.

That's another thing about me: I have no tolerance for bullshit. I don't have the time or energy to deal with lies and drama. If you fuck with me, you'll get an ear-full at the very least. But if you persist, I'll just ignore you.

I wonder if I should go ahead and tell you about my family. You see, it's rather unconventional. But, I think it'd be fun to keep you guessing. No doubt you'll figure it all out eventually.


In The Beginning...

This is the tale of an unconventional family. It is a complete work of fiction. Sometimes it will be told in traditional third person prose, and sometimes it will be told in first person blog posts from the point of view of the characters. We'll begin with each of the characters introducing themselves, and then we'll see where it goes from there.

Note that this is not a finished, polished story. It is a work in progress and a way for me to get down my ideas.

Warning: This story contains explicit language and, on occasion, adult content. Posts with adult content will have a warning at the beginning.